Volunteer gives local community a taste of Dementia-Friendly Dining

A smile spread across Dennis Dulniak’s face as he told the story of how he met his wife, Nancy, at the State University of New York at Fredonia’s freshman orientation. 

“Nancy picked me out from the crowd and stalked me. And after orientation, I took her on our first date to Niagara Falls,” Dulniak said with a chuckle.

The couple was married for 47 years. They had two sons and two grandsons. He would work at different universities as registrar, and she was a librarian. 

All of this changed when 62-year-old Nancy was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2014 and then early-onset Alzheimer’s soon after. Nancy passed away in 2021.

“She would come home from work in tears because she would forget what she was doing, what her passwords were,” Dulniak said.

According to Alzheimer’s Disease International, there are more than 10 million new cases of dementia each year worldwide, which would be equivalent to one new case every 3.2 seconds.

The Dulniaks loved going to The Meatball Stoppe in Orlando: a place with 14 different kinds of meatballs. Dulniak said one of the challenges that came with going out after her diagnosis was that Nancy wasn’t attentive. She struggled to read menus or got stressed not knowing what to order.

Around 2019, Dulniak’s son, Craig, saw an article in The Washington Post about dementia-friendly dining in Huntington, West Virginia. At that time, The Meatball Stoppe had just expanded, adding in a back room, so Dulniak asked the owner and her husband about making The Meatball Stoppe dementia-friendly.

“She thought it was marvelous because she had two family members who had dementia and she and her husband said, ‘Let us be first,’” Dulniak said.

The Meatball Stoppe became the first Dementia-Friendly Dining restaurant in January 2020. The coronavirus pandemic had other plans in store.

“Six weeks later, it closed,” Dulniak said.

The Meatball Stoppe temporarily shut down due to the pandemic, but that didn’t stop Dulniak. In May of 2021, he and others involved with DFD started seeking out additional restaurants to restart Dementia-Friendly Dining.  They got the Senior Resource Alliance, the Alzheimer’s & Dementia Resource Center and the Dementia Care and Cure Initiative to sponsor it. They added The Town House Restaurant in Oviedo and Sanford’s Patio Grill. 

Dulniak said that care facilities bring dementia patients to DFD restaurants, providing them with a dining experience.

“They can actually have an outing instead of being in a closed facility. They can experience life again,” he said. “That opportunity is really what I want to get to so that we can make our community more dementia-friendly.”

Jody Hampton, Director of Community Engagement for Central Florida’s Alzheimer’s & Dementia Resource Center, talked about the importance of these opportunities for people with dementia.

“It gets them out of isolation with their families and provides them a safe environment to interact with families,” Hampton said.

Though The Meatball Stoppe and Patio Grill have since closed permanently, DFD has expanded to include six different restaurants: Orlando’s A Land Remembered Restaurant, Hollerbach’s German Restaurant in Sanford, Pepe’s Cantina Oviedo, Seminole BBQ Company in Chuluota, Perkins Restaurant & Bakery in Winter Springs and, of course, The Town House Restaurant in Oviedo. Please call ahead of time if you’re planning to attend DFD.

What constitutes a restaurant as dementia-friendly? Dulniak has a list of accommodations, including the ability to turn off music in the designated DFD space and dining spaces with a separate or “closed” room. Dulniak conducts a 30-minute training for restaurant workers on how to be dementia-friendly. He gives them cards with reminders like “Speak slowly and clearly” and “Make eye contact” to help make the experience more inclusive. 

“The staff who are there are prepped, have the training, are ready for making sure that they’re really addressing the needs on that card and making that experience as positive as possible,” Dulniak said.

Roy Scherer and his wife, Judy, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, attended Dementia-Friendly Dining multiple times and had a positive experience. Scherer said that over the years, he and Dulniak have become good friends.

“You’re among a group of people who totally understood caregivers– what their challenges were in restaurants. Dennis had trained the staff on tips on how to deal with dementia patients so there’s no embarrassment or awkwardness,” Scherer said.

Honoring Nancy

As a lifelong librarian, Dulniak’s wife, Nancy, naturally loved to read.

“She loved reading at an early age. She got a library card before library cards were given to kids because of age in her hometown,” Dulniak said.

Dulniak and his sons, Craig and Mark, came up with the idea for the Nana’s Books Foundation to honor Nancy. 

Since 2021, Nana’s Books has been responsible for the distribution of more than 12,700 books to over 6,320 students across 16 Title I schools in eight states including Florida, according to an official Nana’s Books document. The books distributed have to do with dementia, Alzheimer’s and other disabilities, according to Dulniak.

“What we’re teaching kids is kindness, compassion and respect for people who are different,” Dulniak said.

Dulniak goes to these schools himself and reads to classes.

“I’ll read to a kindergarten, first grade, second grade class or talk about Nana’s Books to instill this love of literacy. And I think that makes a big difference,” Dulniak said.

Craig Dulniak said that a lot of the kids are able to connect with these books due to shared experiences.

“It’s really sweet to hear that the books that we’re sharing with them already do resonate,” Craig Dulniak said.

School librarian Mary Bucciero has worked with Nana’s Books in Granville, New York– where Nancy was born. Bucciero praised the fact that the books donated discussed a variety of disabilities.

“They weren’t just about Alzheimer’s and dementia. They were also about people who are different or have other disabilities, which is really wonderful because then it expands the knowledge for the students because they don’t always see those types of people,” Bucciero said.

Caring for the caregiver

After Nancy started struggling due to her symptoms, Dulniak figured the best option was for Nancy to retire and then get her tested. However, he soon realized that was a mistake.

“Dementia is a disability and as a disability, she would’ve been eligible for long-term disability insurance. And that piece is something I teach,” Dulniak said. “Whenever I meet people who are involved in thinking there’s an issue, I tell ’em ‘Don’t quit, don’t retire. Don’t get fired. Get yourself analyzed and assessed.’”

Dulniak became part of the support team on Elite Cruises & Vacations dementia-friendly cruises in 2016. Dulniak would travel on the cruises with Nancy and still travels on them today, including two trips to Alaska. He said the cruises make sure caregivers get cared for too, ensuring that for two hours a day caregivers get time for themselves.

“We’d always do lunch and dinner together as a group so that we’re assisting the caregiver in taking care of their loved one and they can enjoy the experience,” Dulniak said. “And on excursions, we would go with them so that they would have time also to enjoy where they are, what they’re doing, what they’re seeing.”

 Dulniak said that one of the biggest mistakes a caregiver could make is not taking care of themselves.

“They’re so busy taking care of their loved one. They forget that if they’re not well, if they’re not rested, they can’t give their best effort,” Dulniak said.

Dulniak has also been a part of the Oviedo-Winter Springs Lions Club for 27 years, as a founding member and former president. He’s been involved in numerous projects with the group, whether it’s collecting used hearing aids for people who can’t afford them or helping with a mass eyeglass sorting for people struggling with vision.

“We’ll sort anywhere between 20 and 50,000 pairs of glasses depending upon how many people show up,” Dulniak said.

Dulniak’s lengthy resume of volunteer work scored him a Martin Luther King Jr. “I Have A Dream” award, presented by Oviedo Citizens In Action on Jan. 18 this year. Two other recipients were awarded as well: Carla Chavez Ramirez, for her work in the Beta Club and Environmental Clubs at Oviedo High School, and Mission Road Church of God in Christ, for its Christmas Giveaways, providing hundreds of families with food for the holidays. This year Dulniak is the only one of these recipients to focus on people with dementia and their caregivers.

“It brings good recognition and it becomes a new platform for me. I can add it to my list of signature accomplishments that are there, and I will at times because I’m very proud of that,” Dulniak said. “It’s recognition that can only help tell my story.”

Dulniak refers to his voluntary work as a “calling”, and cites service and ethics as values he holds strong.

“I’m blessed to be able to do this. I don’t know why, but it’s a calling that I’m just letting it go,” Dulniak said. “I’m just going with it and serving others as they need it.”

Editor’s note: Dennis Dulniak is a monthly donor to Oviedo Community News. That in no way influenced OCN‘s decision to approve Editorial Intern Maci Castillo’s pitch to profile Dulniak. See OCN‘s Editorial Independence and Financial Disclosure Policy to learn more.